It’s Saturday, so you know what that means. College Football. And with football being on, it means that we’re going to be live blogging it. So come in, kick your feet up and grab your nearest adult beverage.
Click Here for Live Blog Action
UFC 104 takes place this Saturday night at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California. We’ve gotten into a habit here at the Gally Blog (thankfully a good one), where we preview the UFC Pay Per Views (PPV) and give our expert predictions. Hmmm “expert” should have had some quotations around it, but I’m far to lazy to do that. So just read that sentence aloud to yourself again and make the crunching rabbit ears, which is the International Douche Sign for “I’m making a quotation.” Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Flips open a magazine
Alright. Let’s continue.
I wasn’t sure if we’d be doing a UFC post so I contacted Logic the other day and the conversation went something like this:
music playing in the background as gimp dials the phone
gimp: Hey man, it’s gimp.
background music can be heard, *And my daddy said “stay away from Juliet”*
Logic: Dude what the hell are you listening to? It sounds like…
gimp: Just a commercial or something. Not important. Stay focused here, you ADD riddled bastard. Are we doing a UFC preview and prediction post for this weekend or what?
music lyric: Cause you were Romeo – I was a scarlet letter, And my daddy said “stay away from Juliet”
Logic: Uh…yeah man. Uh…Dude are you listening to Taylor Swift?
gimp: Um….click, dial tone
With that said, let’s get to our picks…Right after we unveil our special guest poster, which totally has me at full mast. I’ll let Logic do the introduction. Take it away Los Logicos.
Logic: First off, before I get done predicting every winner of every fight and making you some GD money, I’d like to give a shout out to our “3rd mic” of the night, Vince Mancini of FilmDrunk. If you’re wondering if he’s qualified, well, Vince has been the MMA correspondent for WithLeather so he’s not just a one trick pony with movies. Anyway, you should be worrying if I’m qualified. Because clearly I’m just a drunk guy that got a password to a website.
Vince: Howdy, folks, this Vince Mancini from FilmDrunk here. Your editors asked if I’d pick some fights for UFC 104 tomorrow and I agreed, as long as they let me use lots of swear words. I fucking love fucking swearing so fucking much. Almost as much as I like watching sweaty dudes wrestle. Really gets the blood pumpin’, as long as there are no gays around.
Fuck ’em up Friday is a weekly post that occurs, you guessed it, every Friday. Bringing you some of the best knockouts, submissions, and knockers that the inter-webs have to offer. It’s basically my way of glorifying violence, as well as giving in to the urges of my pre-pubescent inner child. Yeah, that’s how I roll.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
You figure a sport that involves rolling around with a bunch of sweaty dudes wouldn’t rank high on the homophobia scale. That would make sense – you’re rolling around, sweaty, trying to impose your will on each other. I mean, seriously. Read that last line again, and tell me that it couldn’t be interpreted as two men going at it in a sexual manner. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It is perfectly fine if you’re down with that sort of thing cough Gally cough.
However, it’s not like the guy in the above video grabbed some sack while passing the other guy’s guard, or sprouted some wood while taking the other guy’s back. Let the record show, that last comment about “taking the back”, is actual MMA terminology and not a repressed homosexual Freudian slip. He blew a kiss.
My professional opinion? Someone’s a little insecure. And you know what helps with totally insecure sexual preferences? Boobies. Commence boobies…
Check back later for our UFC 104 preview and predictions with our special guest poster…The suspense is killing me. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to clean up all this…uh…water.
The Morning After Pill is our daily recap of the previous days sporting events. Some teams/sports are left out due to extreme lack of caring…Looking at you hockey. Or simply because we’re too hungover
The Yankees failed to deliver the coup de grace last night as they lost 6-7 to the Angels of Anaheim. I spoke with Logic, our resident analyst on all things obnoxious New York. He assured me that the Yankees will take Game 6. He said some other stuff, but it was hard to hear over all the sobbing. Game 6 will take place Saturday night in New York. I, myself will not be watching as I have a previous engagement set with my liver and some sweaty men pounding the hell out of each other…Uh that didn’t sound gay or anything.
Gee golly whiz folks Bobby Bowden and the Florida State Seminoles have been having one hell of a season…And not in the good sort of way. The ‘Noles with their 2-4 record squared off last night against UNC. And believe me, FSU looked like a 2-4 team as they were down at one point by 18 points. Some way, some how, Bobby Bowden in all his infinite wisdom (ie dementia) was able to coach his team to a 30-27 victory. Okay maybe he didn’t per se, but the ‘Noles were able to get the W, which means only 1/2 of the media outlets this next week will talk about Bowden and how he should retire/be fired. Personally, who cares, just give the guy a headset that’s not plugged in. I doubt he’ll know the difference anyway. I mean, seriously, Alzheimer’s is a real bitch like that.
On a personal note my parlay hit with the Seminoles winning and the over coming in. It was a good night that did not involve ritualistic cutting or vomiting, so uh, hey go me.
In site news the weekend is almost here and we have plenty of exciting things in store here at the Gally Blog. Check back later today for the regularly scheduled F(*)(*)k ’em Up Friday post, as well as our UFC 104 preview and predictions, with our special guest poster. Who might that be? You’ll have to check back to find out. I’ll give you a hint, it’s not an ice skating bear.
Welcome back, sports-fans. The Using Logic Hotline is still open 24 hours a day at HatedHero11@gmail.com and this is where I can help you out with any issues in which you are stuck and don’t know what to do. Normally we like to keep it sports related. Other times it can be sexy. This time? It’s both. Now this may come as a shocker to you but I personally know Marni Phillips. I have known her ever since Steve was the Mets’ General Manager and they were always out and about on Long Island. While Steve and I became close, we went out to Crobar and to Scores but he also invited me to his house for the after parties and that’s where I met Marni. She was a sweetheart and we remained in touch after Steve left the Mets and went to ESPN. So to make a long story short, Marni is a reader of The Gally Blog and saw my Using Logic segment and sent me an email, this is what she said to me…
Ron Artest truly is an innovator. He single-handedly revolutionized the way athletes dive into the stands to fight fans. Anyone who saw the fight that took place between him and a couple of fans during the Pistons and Pacers game knows what I’m talking about. I mean, honestly, who does that? Ron Artest, that’s who. You can now add Wynne Arboleda from the PBA to that list, too.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
PBA? Why yes, that would be the Philippine Basketball Association. The PBA has apparently been around since 1975, but has only been on my radar for the last 24 hours.
My only real complaint about what Wynne did wasn’t the fact that he assaulted a fan. No, my complaint is that Wynne wasn’t donning a samurai sword while doing it. If movies have taught me anything, it’s that Asians carry around katanas at all times. Well, that and they have a terrible time pronouncing their Ls and Rs.