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Using Logic 4: A New Hope

October 22, 2009

Welcome to Using Logic, Mr. Phillips.

Welcome to Using Logic, Mr. Phillips.

Welcome back, sports-fans. The Using Logic Hotline is still open 24 hours a day at HatedHero11@gmail.com and this is where I can help you out with any issues in which you are stuck and don’t know what to do. Normally we like to keep it sports related. Other times it can be sexy. This time? It’s both. Now this may come as a shocker to you but I personally know Marni Phillips. I have known her ever since Steve was the Mets’ General Manager and they were always out and about on Long Island. While Steve and I became close, we went out to Crobar and to Scores but he also invited me to his house for the after parties and that’s where I met Marni. She was a sweetheart and we remained in touch after Steve left the Mets and went to ESPN. So to make a long story short, Marni is a reader of The Gally Blog and saw my Using Logic segment and sent me an email, this is what she said to me…

He Really Cheated on This Cougar...

He Really Cheated on This Cougar...

Dear Logic,

Long time no speak! I’m sure you have heard what Steve did to me…Again! What a dick, right? I miss you. How have you been? I hear you’re a big blogger now? Well, to be honest… I’m a big fan and to be completely and totally honest, this e-mail is in regards to the Using Logic segment you do. I wanted to know if I could send me rebuttal to Brooke in a public forum and embarrass her like she embarrassed me. I’ll send it to you and you can post it if you want… Dinner and drinks soon!

XoXo,
Marni-bear

p.s. Remember when you used to call me that?!? :)

p.p.s. Sorry about the cheap shots at you but I HAVE read your writing… LOL!


Isn’t she a sweetheart? I haven’t seen her in a while and I think I owe it to her to say what she wants to say publicly and exclusively for The Gally Blog. I don’t mean to brag, but I do have that kind of pull around here. Here is the letter she wanted Brooke Hundley (Pictures of Her Here) to see:


Dear Whorebag,

Hi Brooke. I knew you worked with Steve. I know everything he does. Buster Olney has been spying on Steve for years. I asked him because he’s just a little guy that can crawl into spaces where Steve can’t see over his tremendous ego. I think it is quite cute that you think you are something to Steve when you were just another hole. Oh I didn’t realize that Steve would lie about having a vasectomy? Are you like 24 months pregnant??

Did you just take potshots at my marriage and the way I raised my kids? I would hope not because you look like you have a weak dumpy jaw and I learned how to punch from this blogger called Logic and he’s had to fight people his WHOLE life, mostly due to his alcoholism and big mouth. But I digress, I do agree that Steve likes being with you more. That reason? Blowjobs. His grundle smells like a dumpster.

I’m glad that you didn’t want to hurt me. You didn’t, so don’t worry. I’m glad you were raised Catholic. It is comforting to know that you will burn in Hell forever with Hitler, Pol Pot and the Jews that killed Jesus. I also think it is cute that you think you were sneaking and hiding from me. You couldn’t sneak if you were invisible. You’re the fattest, dumpiest thing I have seen since Eminem was addicted to burritos. You are more bloated than the hooker Ted Kennedy let drown in that Bay.

Lastly, I’m sorry I won’t be calling you but I did turn your number over to ever chubby chaser/black guy I know. I also added it to truck stop bathroom walls across the tri-state area. I also won’t be meeting up with you because I think I would puke. You look like you have “bacne” and you make me sick.

So I guess to sum up my response to your letter is “Shut up and die, you slam-hog whore. I’ve been fucking Logic behind Steve’s back since 2004 and Logic is hung like a Pringles can. Steve probably also has 1,000’s of STDs because Logic does and Logic can’t afford condoms so I let him eff me without them. SoOo I’d see someone if I was you. Not a doctor. I suggest a priest…”

With Love,
Marni


Well… I guess I can’t add anything to that. It was perfect. Except that I’m hung more like a tuna can. I won’t hit the G-spot, but I will fuck your walls up.

(via New York Post article in front of me.)

Update: Now With More Pictures!

Brooke Hundley is Now Employed as a Basset Hound.

Brooke Hundley is Now Employed as a Basset Hound.

What a Downgrade, Steven.

What a Downgrade, Steven.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. October 25, 2009 12:08 am

    Hey now, let’s back the truck up here a minute. I own a basset hound, and that caption is a vicious slur on basset hounds everywhere.

    Brooke’s more of a shar-pei.

    • October 25, 2009 3:28 am

      Ok. Listen J-Starr. I don’t do this often but I apologize. For real. I do. She is a shar-pei. Your basset hound is much prettier.

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