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The Morning After Pill: berstreet Edition 2.0

October 19, 2009

The Morning After Pill is our daily recap of the goings on in the sporting world. Certain teams and sports are left out due to either lack of caring or an extreme hangover. Maybe a weak hangover also, we’re kind of soft like that.

Lucky for you, you get my version of the MAP again!  I know you couldn’t wait.  But I’m at work, so let’s get this show on the road, shall we?

NFL: The Giants got destroyed by the Saints.  Who saw that one coming?!  I know Logic didn’t.  Neither did I, or I would’ve started Reggie Bush in my fantasy league.  The Titans…I mean, is someone going to contract them?  Can teams get contracted in the NFL like they can the MLB?  59-0 is super embarrassing.  They should probably just forfeit the season and hope for better luck/coaching/players/management/a new rabbit’s foot next year.  The Cards did a pretty good job against a skeletal Seattle team.  Big ups to my boy Fitz for getting me a good chunk of points 2 weeks in a row.  Then we have my beloved Vikings who did not win that game – The Ravens BLEW IT.  I seriously laughed out loud at an headline I saw yesterday that said, “Favre’s Late Heroics End Ravens Rally.” Whatever simpleton wrote that should be fired.  Or buy new eyes.  Or something.  I was at the game, and the 1st quarter was awesome; it was fun, it was electric.  Then the rest of the game happened.  My favorite parts were when B’more just kind of sauntered into the endzone for a couple easy TDs.  Our only saving grace, apparently, is how loud we were booing and screaming.  So loud, in fact, that my friend told me the announcers on TV were annoyed with us.  Whatev…the Ravens choked, and we’re 6-0.  I don’t care about the rest of the games.  Sorry.

College Football: In another they-didn’t-win-the-other-team-lost situation, we have the BCS No. 1 Florida Gators.  I’d like to be able to blame their piss-poor performance (how’s that for an alliteration?) on Tebow’s dome getting rocked a few weeks ago, but he got sacked SIX TIMES.  What?  Arkansas isn’t that great – the Gators’ O-line just sucked a fat one.  Purdue beat OSU (WOOHOOOO!) which is kind of embarrassing for the Suckeyes, because my Gophers rocked Purdue’s ass to Russia last week.  That and OSU is, on average, supposed to be good.  Suck it, C-bus.  I guess I can’t gloat too much, since my Gophers choked this week, too.  Oh!  Notre Dame lost to USC, which was the beginning of the downward spiral for Logic (we may want to send the police to his house to check on him today).  Our crew liveblogged the Oklahoma-Texas game, which sucked.  Also, all of Bradford’s hopes and dreams this year came crashing down yet again when he left the game with another injuryBoohoo no Heisman for you!

MLB: At this point, I really don’t care anymore.  I either don’t like or don’t care about any team that’s still in it to win it.  Since the World Series is kind of a big deal, and I’d care if my Twins were in it, I should probably talk about it.  Whoopdidoo the Yankees pulled out a win in the 13th on Friday due to an Angels error.  Then the rest of the world groaned and rolled their eyes.  I guess the Phillies “crushed” the Dodgers, taking the series lead at 2-1.  I’d just like to take this time to plead with the Angels: please, PLEASE get your shit together and destroy the Yankees.  For all of humanity and the love of baseball.  Thank you.

NHL: I’ll let the Canuck talk about this, because I really don’t care.  There are like 10 more months of this.  I’ll hop on the bandwagon if the Wild get the Stanley Cup.

NBA: It’s preseason.  Know who shows no promise already in the preseason?  The Timberwolves.  Shock and awe ensue.  Anyway, I am looking to go to the January 31st Celtics game (in Boston) against the Lakers.  If someone wants to hook me up with tickets that would be greatly appreciated.  It’s pretty much my life dream right now.  I love KG with all of my heart, and I think Paul Pierce and Ray Allen are amazing.  Plus, I really want the opportunity to see Sheed lose his shit.  Jus’ sayin’.

That’s all from me today.  If there’s something else you think people should know, feel free to leave it in the comments section.  If I made any mistakes, oh well.  I hope you choke on it.  I need to go earn my paycheck now.

Love you :)

xoxo berstreet

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