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Rush Limbaugh to Buy the Rams?

October 9, 2009

Like the fat Clint Howard.

Like the fat Clint Howard.

While reading the newspaper at work today I saw a crazy headline. Apparently Rush Limbaugh has more money than King Midas and put in a bid to buy the once prominent now miserable franchise, the St. Louis Rams.

Conservative talk radio host Rush Limbaugh said Tuesday he is teaming up with St. Louis Blues owner Dave Checketts in a bid to buy the Rams, owners of the NFL’s longest current losing streak at 14 and just 5-31 since 2007.

In a statement, Limbaugh declined to discuss details, citing a confidentiality agreement with Goldman Sachs, the investment firm hired by the family of former Rams owner Georgia Frontiere to review assets of her estate, including the NFL team.

Limbaugh also declined to discuss other partners who might be involved in the bid, but said he and Checketts would operate the team

So really there is nothing to be reported on except for this piece of information. However, I read in the Daily News this morning, that none of the black players would meet with him if he does in fact become the owner of the team. That’s not a good sign for a potential owner. He’s already going to run this program even further into the ground than it already is. Hey, maybe he’ll hit China! Considering Rush is Mizzou born(I’m assuming he’s been a longtime fan), he’d be like Dan Snyder (read as: Kid in a Candy Store) and that experiment is proving to be awful in Washington.

Also, if you forgot, his African American athletes won’t meet with him! That’s like 95% of the team. It’s going to be Rush, Kyle Boller and Chris Long sipping Mai Thai Mangos at Applebees watching game tape. This could get bad. He’s going to see his franchise be miserable, want to talk to his players and get snubbed. Then he goes on a power trip. You don’t want to be an Al Davis/Jerry Jones. On the other hand, when Jerry talks you listen… Or its off to the catacombs with you.

Well, I guess cheers to the black man. You know, for taking it all in stride. I could only picture Stephen Jackson’s reaction when he heard this news. I bet it’d be similar to Carter Beauford’s reaction to Dave Matthew’s new song Why I Am.

Dave: I grew from monkey into man.

(Carter gives look to Boyd)

Dave: Then I crushed 15 million with a wave of my hand. I grew drunk on water turned into wine,’Till I was slave and master at the same damn time.

Carter: Ok, stop the damn music. Dave, what the fuck was that?

Dave: What the fuck was what?

Carter: The whole monkey to man, master/slave shit. What the fuck is that about man?

Dave: Are you calling me a racist? I’m from South Africa! I fought against apartheid.

Carter: You’re right. Whatever man.

Dave: OK. We’re good, bro? Let’s take it from the chorus…

Dave: Why I am, the apple of your pretty eye. Why I am, a snake in the wood pile. Why I am, still here dancing with the GrooGrux King!

Carter: OK (points drumstick). You’re pushing it, honky ass mother fucker. Psh. Don’t gimme that! You couldn’t come up with a better stuff than GrooGrux? You might as well be burning a cross on my drumset!

Stefan: Word.

Carter: Shut the fuck up Stefan. You’re milky white.

What? Why y'all lookin at me like that whicha?

What? Why y'all lookin at me like that whicha?

Carter: Oh shit. You’re on heroin again aren’t you?

And since we got into music, imagine if the band Rush bought the team. Hehe. Wouldn’t that be AWESOME?!?

**air guitars**
2 Comments leave one →
  1. October 9, 2009 5:28 pm

    Rush, FTW

  2. October 9, 2009 5:34 pm

    Gally has a cross they could totally borrow.

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