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The Morning After Pill: The Distracted Edition

October 7, 2009

The Morning After Pill is where we recount the previous days events in the sporting world. Certain teams/sports are left out due to extreme lack of caring or hangovers.

NFL: The Monday Night Football game between the Minnesota Vikings and Green Bay Packers drew a record audience of 21.3 million viewers. It’s the largest cable audience ever, as well as being the highest rated show ever on ESPN. I guess he who shall not be named is still some kind of draw. Rush Limbaugh and Dave Checketts, owner of the St. Louis Blues, are apparently in negotiations to buy the Rams. It’s unclear if they want to buy 100% ownership or just the 60% that remains in the Frontiere family. Is Goodell becoming a big softie? Bawlmore Ravens Ed Reed and Ray Lewis won’t be fined by the league for comments made about the officiating. The Goodell of two years ago would have had them tied up in the town square and beaten with the cat-o-nine tails. The Giants expect Eli Manning to make his 83d consecutive start this weekend. He was diagnosed with plantar fasciitis, which is apparently painful as hell, but it’s nothing a little tape and maybe some Tussin can’t fix.

College Football: A source has said that FSU wont be asking Bobby Bowden to step down as coach at the end of the year. Yeah he’s a legend, and yeah he won National Titles but this is sports and what has he done lately. Nothing. So maybe it’s time to go eat pudding and break a hip having Viagra fueled sex at the old folks home. Texas freshman Safety, Kenny Vaccaro has an arrest warent out for him after getting in a fight at a pickup basketball game. It’s a shame really that he’s a freshman. It means that he’s going to have to wait two years to be drafted by the Bengals. Sam Bradford may play this weekend against Baylor. The funny thing is that he’s still holding out hope of winning a National Championship. It’s kind of cute that he’s so naive.

MLB: In what’s being called an instant classic, the Minnesota Twins beat the Detroit Tigers 6-5 in their one game playoff. The game was won in the 12th inning on a walkoff single by Alexi Casilla. Brandon Inge of the Tigers even said, “That has got to be one of the best games I’ve ever been a part of.” And his team lost. Kind of makes me wish I had a day job so I could watch sports at night.

NBA: Allen Iverson’s debut with the Grizzlies was delayed as he suffered a strained a hamstring in practice. Practice? Practice? We in here talkin bout practice? This is why AI don’t gotta practice.

NHL: Alexander Ovechkin put on a clinic yet again, but Mike Richards of the Flyers outshined him as his hat trick powered Philladelphia to a 6-5 win over the Capitals. Nikolai Khabibulin became only the 24th goalie to win 300 games as the Oilers held on to beat the Dallas Stars 5-4 in a game decided by shootout. Newly acquired Oiler, Mike Comrie scored in the game for his first of the year. God I hate that guy. The Bruins signed noted With leather antagonist, Milan Lucic to a 3 year $12.25 million contract extension.

Soccer: Didier Drogba has urged Manager Carlo Ancelotti to aquire former Arsenal midfielder Patrick Viera in the January transfer window. Several of Chelsea’s players will be participating in the African Nations Cup at that time. Unfortunately, Chelsea was banned by FIFA from making transfers for this year but the team is appealing that.

Fanbase on Suicide Watch: St. Louis Rams. Not only are they on a pathetic stretch of football, but now Rush Limbaugh want’s to own the team. That’s not your fault Rams fans, but it may make you want to jam red hot pokers in your ears.

Gratuitous Semi-Naked Sporting Woman:

Kyra Gracie. Black Belt. Ju Jitsu. Totally Hot.

Kyra Gracie. Black Belt. Ju Jitsu. Totally Hot.

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