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Kimbo loses, but still remains number one in unkempt beards.

October 1, 2009

It was the battle of the B’s last night on the Ultimate Fighter. Where we saw Kimbo Slice and his beautifully crafted homeless man beard take on Roy “Big Belly Country” Nelson and his very pregnant looking belly.

If there isn't a 13 month old baby in there I would be very surprised.

If there isn't a 13 month old baby in there I would be very surprised.

A little unknown fact about Roy Nelson. Underneath that belly is potentially a light heavy weight. You wouldn’t know, it under all that mass and clogged arteries, but it’s true. I guess eating nothing but fried foods is more important that dying before the age of 35.

Chuck Norris ain't got shit on Kimbo's beard.

Chuck Norris ain't got shit on Kimbo's beard.

Back to the show.

It was a battle for the ages and if you didn’t watch it you totally missed out. Naw I’m just fucking with you. It wasn’t very good…at all. Nelson basically just did his best impression of a beached whale, where he was the whale and Kimbo was the beach. Sure Nelson flopped around punching Kimbo in the head repeatedly, but let’s be honest with ourselves here people. Nelson probably would have done more damage by grabbing onto Kimbo’s wrist and making Kimbo punch himself in the forehead while exclaiming, “Quit hitting yourself. Quit hitting yourself.”

Yeah, it was that bad…and that boring.

To say I’ve seen snuff films with more appeal is a severe understatement. I would have rather watched a sex tape involving Roseanne Barr. At least that way there would have been something else going on.

Those repeated strikes to the head were nothing to write home about. I’ve seen children take bigger shots when getting the flu vaccine.



My guess is the Ultimate Fighter did some ridiculous numbers last night in the ratings. And logic (real logic not the sadistic prick who blogs here) would suggest that they will see a substantial drop in the coming weeks with Kimbo no longer fighting on the show. However, if you saw the preview for next week’s show then you know this ratings drop will possibly be delayed for at least another week.

It appears, and the emphasis here is on appears, that one of the fighters has an injury. An injury that might keep him from competing on the show. Hmmm I wonder who the UFC and Dana White will get to replace the injured fighter. It couldn’t be…wait for it….the most recent fighter to be eliminated from the show Kimbo Slice? At least that’s what the trailer suggests.

Will Kimbo return to fight on the Ultimate Fighter? Who knows. I’ll be slightly annoyed if that whole bit of trailer was only about 2 minutes of the overall show and the UFC just did some hell of an editing job to make it seem like the bearded one would return.

However, if this was Kimbo’s last fight on the Ultimate Fighter here’s a video of him explaining the changes he’s made in life. More importantly how he has identified the enemy. Actually the inemy. Whatever the fuck that means. He could ramble on about unicorns and rainbows and I don’t think many people would object.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

One Comment leave one →
  1. October 1, 2009 3:08 pm

    Sadistic Prick, huh? Well you win this round, Mr. Gimp.

    But seriously I would’ve been much more entertained if Big CUNTry would’ve grabbed Kimbo’s hands and forced him to hit himself because that’s one step away from rape.

    The UFC should be depressed about that loss and pissed at Rashad for bouncing that paycheck, if the ratings don’t go down 200% next week(even with the tease), I’ll be shocked. I’m only going to be tuning in to see if Rampage tells another slimy Brit to take balls out of his mouf.

    Herb Dean should be embarrassed about the officiating job even though I might be in the minority with that one. How do you not stand heavy weights up who are in a clear stalemate?

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