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The Miami Dolphins’ suck train just got bigger.

September 30, 2009

Imagine if you will, you’re a Dolphins fan.

Yay Dolphins! WHOOOO!!!!

dolphindouche

Really? This is the kind of shit you have to put up with any time you discuss any of the Miami teams. FML…

Hey you’re from south Florida, aren’t you a Fins fan?

dolphinspaint

Negative.

It’s a terrible thing to stereotype fandom based solely on geographical location. Just because I live in the frenulum of the dong shaped state known as Florida does not mean I cheer for the Finned ones. I may bet on them from time to time, but that doesn’t equate to team allegiance.

Dolphins are numero uno, mang!

dolphinsfacepaint

Uh they’re 0-3. I fail to see how that means they’re #1.

Now back to what I was saying. Imagine if you will, you’re a Dolphins fan. Last season you won the AFC East, which is definitely a good thing. However, this season you’re off to an 0-3 start and your star starting quarterback Chad Pennington is done for the season with a shoulder injury.

Which may be no big deal if you were looking at Chad Henne to be the future leader of the team. However, Bill Parcells appears to have a different idea. One that his superior intelligence and football knowledge has decided it’s a good idea to trade for Tyler Thigpen…of the Kansas City Chiefs…

The fuck?

Ruh roh!

Even the dog agrees.

Even the dog agrees.

I may be recalling this incorrectly, heavy drinking does tend to distort how you experience things, but it seemed like it was on a weekly basis that Thigpen would start, then be benched in favor of Brodie Croyle, only to start again the following week. The tandem of Thigpen and Coryle combined to make one sub-par quarterback. Or to put it in perspective, Tavaris Jackson…But far whiter. Or go put it in even further perspective, a non-Jewish version of Sage Rosenfels.

My guess is that neither Henne, Thigpen, or Pennington are the long term solution at QB for the Dolphins. Who is? I haven’t the slightest clue. What I do know is that Pennington’s contract is done at the end of the season, so Henne either needs to sack up or get used to a career as a backup. And please can we hold off on the Tebow to the Dolphins talk, for at least a few more months. That would be awesome.

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