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Yankees-Red Sox rivalry heats up…In the classroom?

September 29, 2009

The Yankees/Red Sox rivalry. An embittered rivalry so intense and so American that it makes the race wars of the 80s look like a neighborhood quarrel over property line landscaping. Both Yankees and Sox fans will smugly go into ungodly detail about their World Championships and All Star players.

And just for kicks take two overly boisterous (ie loud and drunk) Yankees and Sox fans, put them together, and you’ll definitely be in for a show. Think of it like watching two Chinese Fighting Fish (ie Betta fish) go at it to the death, but much drunker and with way funnier and more obnoxious accents.

FAWK YOU!

FACK YOU!

FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK!

FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK!

So when I hear about an incident involving a Yankees fan, a Red Sox fan, and a dispute over a team shirt I’m really none too surprised. But when I come to find out it involves a child (Yankees fan), a teacher (Red Sox fan), and the child having to turn his Yankees t-shirt inside out I have to step back for a second and go “WTF?” Well that and pour myself another whiskey and diet, but enough about me.

Van Buren Elementary fourth-grader Nathan Johns thought his teacher was kidding when he instructed him to go to the bathroom and turn his Yankees T-shirt inside out.

The blue shirt read “New York No. 52” on the front and “Sabathia” for the New York Yankees’ pitcher CC Sabathia, on the back.

Listen kid making you put your shirt on inside out would have been the least of your problems if the Red Sox fan in question was a priest and not your teacher. It would have added a whole new meaning to the term “squeeze play.” Besides it was a shirtzee. He did you a favor. You think the bullies were giving you shit for your shirt being inside out. How do you think they would have reacted if they knew you were wearing a shirtzee? Besides the hurt and the pain you experienced as a result of this incident will pale in comparison to the feeling of disappointment you’ll experience after the Yankees choke in the playoffs. Hey, I may not follow baseball, but I’m up on my Schadenfreude.

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