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Look At Me: NBA, MLB Edition.

September 29, 2009

With the NFL season in full swing, the lesser sports are trying to get their names into the press, because face it… The NFL dominates. I’m a Yankees fan and I couldn’t care less about baseball since Week 1. And don’t even get me started on the NBA or NHL. Those are like the minor leagues of sports. They aren’t even fun to bet on. I’d rather go to a racetrack than watch a hockey game. And no offense to hockey fans… It’s just not me. I think I decided that I’m going to start calling hockey “MMA on Ice” from now on.

It’s actually sad for the MLB because they are getting down to the nitty gritty and October baseball means playoffs. That STILL can’t compete with the NFL. Why? Because everything is really boring. With no major (or interesting) division races and all the most hated teams in the lead, the MLB might as well hit TiVo the next few months and watch it later. You know, when it gets a chance. Because it just isn’t worth wasting all this time on.

For example, the NBA is trying to create controversy via shit-talking with Utah Jazz’ Andrei Kirilenko calling the Shaq/LeBron combination “a poison union“. I think it’s a little ridiculous that this is making headlines when the Giants are about to go 5-0. It’s just madness to me. I wouldn’t even be writing about this, but Kirilenko later went on to say, “I will Crush You…” to those shitty Americans.

But really, He was talking to her:

But really, He was talking to her and her vag.

But even after all of that the MLB is trying to top the NBA like the d-bag at the party after you just told a story about how you got an B+ on a paper after not studying: “So what, dude. (the catchphrase for a topper) I once got an A+ on a paper after I spent all night at the club making out with chicks until Lou Reed asked me to jam with him and I did mushrooms with him and I ended up not even writing the paper but I brought Lou to class and that was good enough”. Yeah we get it, you’re a liar and you’re trying to impress someone. Can you just go somewhere else and do it? It’s audio pollution.

I don’t know how that is a segway into Chuck Knoblauch choking his wife but he fucking did.

This is For Berstreet.

This is For Berstreet.

So I guess my method to all this madness is, don’t let the other sports try and fool you. They still stink and always will stink. Football is on, pretty much every day now, and Tennessee, Carolina and Miami (who all won their divisions last year) are 0-3. We got some interesting stuff happening, God dammit. Chuck, stop choking your wife. This is too funny not to write about, but I wanted to so a segment on how the Jets and the Giants won’t meet up in the Super Bowl because the Jets suck balls. You ruined my day, wife choker. You don’t have the clout that Latrell Sprewell or Chris Brown has to choke someone.

One Comment leave one →
  1. September 29, 2009 7:54 pm

    I think ol’ Chucky’s just mad that Kirby Puckett got to *allegedly* assault a bitch in public, and still died with glory. Maybe Chucky should die, too, and see what happens. Although, I don’t think washed up d-bags get revered in quite the same way.

    P.S. How much does he look like Chris O’Donnell in that pic? I think we know who will be playing him in his Lifetime Made-for-TV movie.

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