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F(*)(*)k ’em Up Friday: Zero Assplay Edition

September 25, 2009

Fuck ’em up Friday is a weekly post that occurs, you guessed it, every Friday. Bringing you some of the best knockouts, submissions, and knockers that the inter-webs have to offer. It’s basically my way of glorifying violence, as well as giving in to the urges of my pre-pubescent inner child. Yeah, that’s how I roll.

The Cocks (of South Carolina) held firm last night beating the Rebels of Ole Miss. No this isn’t your Morning After Pill, that recaps last night’s sporting events, and since the previous sentence wasn’t followed by a statement about how I awesome I am, you can safely assume that I lost some money last night.

Which given my gambling acumen that’s on par with that of a gold fish shouldn’t be all too shocking. However, I dislike and hate many things, and without a doubt losing money is near if not at the top of that list…Followed closely by assplay. Shudders There’s no reason why overly long, totally unnatural nails should be anywhere near my hole of bung. It’s like getting anally finger banged by Freddy Krueger…which is kind of the perfect metaphor for how I feel today after Ole Miss lost last night…Well that and hungover.

Now nothing helps a hangover and a hurting bank account quite like a sexy chick…Well that and moving counties so your bookie can’t find you.


Rear admiral anyone?

If that image doesn’t help lessen the pain from the meticulous and carefully placed blows by an Italian with a ball peen hammer then I don’t know what will.

Now for some thirst quenching violence…

Vodpod videos no longer available.
Yeah, I’m not gonna lie, I’m mildly disappointed with that knockout. Sure there were a few good slams and a punch to the face that sent the one guy falling to the mat, but he just jumps right back up. Almost as if the punch just briefly stunned him, and the ref stopped the fight prematurely. Regardless, it was fairly unsatisfying so here is another awesome MMA video. And by awesome I mean someone’s going to break a limb. So if you’re sensitive to that sort of thing coughs Pussy coughs I recommend not watching it. But if you are the sick, sadistic sort of type then I suggest watching…and seeing a therapist.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

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