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F(*)(*)k ’em Up Friday: The Best Things Come in Pairs Edition

September 18, 2009

Fuck ’em up Friday is a weekly post that occurs, you guessed it, every Friday. Bringing you some of the best knockouts, submissions, and knockers that the inter-webs have to offer. It’s basically my way of glorifying violence, as well as giving in to the urges of my pre-pubescent inner child. Yeah, that’s how I roll.

No doubt the best things come in pairs. For men the obvious choice is breasts, followed by even more breasts. While for the sexual deviant it might be 2 Girls 1 Cup (I promise that link isn’t to the video). For women this could be…Uhh…This could be…Balls? I’m actually not sure what things come in pairs that women really like. Which might explain why I spend most evenings sleeping out on the couch while my wife sleeps in the comfy bed. Hmmm…

Failed marriages aside, sit back and relax as we serve up a double serving of bloody goodness…And of course boobs. We can’t forget the boobs.

"You think I look bad, you should see the other guy."

"You think I look bad, you should see the other guy."

pic via MMAMania

Believe it or not folks that is the face of victory. Nate Quarry banged it out this past Wednesday against Tim Credeur at UFC Fight Night 19 picking up the win by unanimous decision (aka 15 minutes of facial reconstruction). I know you’re probably asking yourself, “If the fight took place on Wednesday why the fuck are they just now posting about it on Friday?” The short answer is fuck off.

The more convoluted answer is posting the results the night of or even the day after would have been what most call doing legitimate writing, and maybe even actual work. We here at the Gally Blog do not strive to be legitimate writers and do actual work. Our bar is much lower than that. No good sir we are geared toward lower tier blogging. The lower echelon of blogging that can only come from the writing of dick jokes and writing so pointless & so offensive that our family members probably should disown us. Oh yeah and fuck off.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Kick to the face, annnnnnnd, good night! Hooray for knockout! Hooray for boobies! (ed note: At no point during the writing of this post was I drunk or drinking. I only drink and blog when I tweet late at night.)

What lovely sheets...

What lovely sheets...

pic via Twitter & here

Now that’s all sorts of sexy. However, if you’re as observant as me, you may have noticed a certain piece of jewelry on a certain part of the hand that tends to signify engagement or even GASP marriage Double GASP. Don’t get me wrong, I’m for marriage and all, but knowing she might be engaged ruins this little fantasy I’ve been having since seeing that picture. A fantasy where I prematurely ejaculate in my pants, then spend the next half an hour curled up on the floor in the fetal position. All this while she tries to console me by saying something to the effect of “It’s okay, really it is. It’s completely normal.”

On second thought that doesn’t sound like a fantasy at all. That sounds more like some kinda reoccurring nightmare I’ve been having on and off for the last 8 years…And by nightmare I mean that’s actually how the majority of my sexual encounters have gone down the last 8 or so years. Maybe I’ve just been repressing those memories all this time?….Hmmm that sounds like a breakthrough. I should probably write that down so I remember to share it with my therapist.


ashley lowe

pic via Gally’s spank bank

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