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Eric Mangini is Super Smart

September 9, 2009

Heil!

Heil!

Everyone knows that Eric Mangini is the smartest man alive. It’s almost silly to compare him to any president that we’ve ever had as a country. The correct way to size up Mangini is to compare him to Hitler. Now before I get someone to explode on me like I’m Jenna Jameson (Ed. Note: fuck, now it might be Tito Ortiz) let me get into the similarities between mein fuhrer and Eric Mangini.

  1. Eric Mangini and Hitler both run a pretty strict camp. Exhibit A. Exhibit B.
  2. They both have made that pose. Exhibit A and Above Image
  3. Both people don’t like history. Exhibit A. Exhibit B
  4. Eric Mangini forced rookies to participate and Hitler forced his generals to kill Jews.
  5. There is in house confrontation. Exhibit A and Exhibit B
  6. They both do pointless stuff like Invading Poland and Not Naming a QB until the Last Minute

And I think I’ll stop there. The list goes on and on. Everything Mangini has done for the Browns has been wrong. Everything that he will do, is bad. He alienates his players and gets his own coaches mad at him. He spent weeks in the media for not addressing the only interesting QB battle in the NFL with America’s (and my own) darling Brady Quinn and then waited until the last minute to declare the winner.

Honestly, what does he have to gain from that? They are virtually the same QB except Brady Quinn is much better looking and has more muscle tone. I will not talk up Anderson’s experience and stronger arm, damn it!

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. September 9, 2009 6:49 pm

    It’s still no contest until Eric Cartman dresses up as Mangini and demands that Stan and Kyle settle the South Park Cows’ QB controversy by licking his balls.

    Then and only then will Mangini > Hitler.

  2. September 9, 2009 7:16 pm

    You’ve probably been sweating Quinn’s nuts since his days at ND…At least if you’re gonna mancrush on someone, let it be Tom Brady. He at least does heterosexual things, like impregnate models and actresses.

  3. September 9, 2009 8:54 pm

    Me and Brady Quinn could easily solve the earth problems

    • gally permalink*
      September 10, 2009 1:42 pm

      Like the blogger debate whether he’s gay?

      • September 10, 2009 3:36 pm

        Oh, he’s straight. Straight as an arrow that Brady Quinn. Problem #1 solved. Next!

        • September 10, 2009 3:56 pm

          Yeah, he’s straight. As straight as this line /draws an outline of a circle with finger.

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