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Some Parallelogram Did Something

September 3, 2009

Logic pulls away from microphone

Logic: aherm. Excuse me. I meant double paraplegic. Or “quadriplegic” if you will, has sailed around Britain. Her name was Hilary Lister and apparently she has no arms or legs.

breaks character

Ok seriously… I’m sure that this is a great story and all, heart warming, and Oprah worthy but did she do it alone? Did she really? Or did she do it with the help of engineering and Stephen Hawking’s money? I know this broad couldn’t have done it solo. What is she going to do set up the sails so that they switch directions and the jig boom swings when she blows into a tube a certain way?

Oh. That’s exactly how she did it? I’m sorry. I didn’t read the article. Or watch the video. I just kind of pictured a midget (I don’t know why) on a boat blowing bubbles into chocolate milk with a boat moving in certain directions.

Secondly, how did she eat? Just slam her head onto coconuts until the milk came out? This story is not very convincing. I mean the broad even has arms and legs! I thought quadriplegics were carried around in baskets, like back in ‘Nam.

The first female quadriplegic to sail solo around Britain, using a system straws to guide the boat, arrived back at Dover harbour yesterday. As the sun set, Hilary Lister, 37, sailed into the harbour to be greeted by cheering supporters..

Right off the bat I can see errors in this statement. First of all, Dover is in Delaware. Second of all, it’s harbor. Not harbour. I don’t know what the fuck a harbour is, but my Spell Check says it is in fact NOT a word.

So there you have it folks, the slimy Brits are at it again. Trying to create headlines with their silly propaganda and feel good stories. Susan Boyle burnt out and this broad won’t last long at the top. It’s just a matter of time before she rolls goes down hill.

Alright enough making fun of paralyzed people who are striving to do something with their lives instead of just being paper weights. Yeah that’s right. I said paper weights.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. September 3, 2009 5:06 pm

    That’s the stuff that the Special Olympics is made of. Overcoming adversity, and doing it while wearing a helmet. Eunice Kennedy Shriver would have been proud.

  2. September 7, 2009 7:49 pm


  3. September 7, 2009 11:57 pm

    The parallelogram reference was from family guy, i guess some people missed that.–What-are-all-these-Parallelograms-Doing-HereFamily-Guy-Peter-Griffin-

    God, I hate explaining jokes

  4. September 8, 2009 5:27 am

    Where did the paper weight joke come from?

    • September 8, 2009 6:10 am

      if you were truly offended by this than I dont understand how you are typing… you know because you’d be missing arms and legs.


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