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The Morning After Pill: UFC 102 Recap

August 30, 2009
tags: , ,

UFC 102 aired last night from the hippie capitol of the world Portland, Oregon. Where hackey sack and organic foods are the way of the land. Overall the show was pretty solid. And yes my picks sucked. I, patiently await my razzing from Logic, which I know is coming.

The results are as follows.

Brandon Vera defeated Krzysztof Soszynski by way of boring split decision. This was by far the worst fight on the card. I’ve seen snuff films with more exciting endings. Note to Soszynski, work on your stand up dick!

Nate Marquardt defeated Demian Maia by first round face rearrangement (ie knockout). World class BJJ doesn’t mean shit when you stand with an opponent who punches you square in the face. Boxing 1, world class BJJ 0.

I got your Ju Jitsu right here! /grabs crotch

I got your Ju Jitsu right here! /grabs crotch

Jake Rosholt submitted Chris Leben with a arm triangle 1:30 into the 3rd round. After the submission was released Leben did his best impression of a guy having a seizure. It was spot on. But I can’t tell if the convulsion was from a lack of oxygen or because he shit himself. Probably a combination of the two.

Thiago Silva defeated Keith Jardine by knockout at 1:35 into the 1st round.

Oh yeah!!! That makes the pain of getting knocked out that much more manageable.

Oh yeah!!! That makes the pain of getting knocked out so much more manageable.

Keith Jardine and his wizard goatee couldn’t get the job done. Well actually he barely even got the job started. I especially liked the part where after the ref stopped the fight Jardine looked at him like, “What? Why’d you stop it? Me going limp had nothing to do with me being knocked out. It was all part of my plan.”

Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira defeated Randy Couture by unanimous decision. One hell of a fight. The 46 year old Couture can still go, and with news of his new contract, he’s going to be around for a little bit longer. He’s almost like Brett Favre, but way more likable. Plus if he does reach the realm of douchedom that Favre has achieved, you will actually be able to see him get punched in the face, whereas we can only hope and dream that it happens to Favre.

One Comment leave one →
  1. August 31, 2009 10:32 am

    Good article

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