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In the case of a hypothetical zombie apocalypse, Zombies 1, Humans 0…

August 19, 2009


The end of the world is upon us. Kind of. Sort of. Well actually not really at all. But if it was we’d totally be screwed. At least according to a recent study coming out of the University of Ottawa.

Thanks Canada. First Canadian bacon, which is nothing like the bacon I’m used to, and now a study based on a scenario that is only plausible in the movies. You must really love fucking with me.

The scientific paper, which is published in a book “Infectious Diseases Modelling Research Progress”, looks at an attack by the undead creatures, who infect the living with a bite.

I’m really glad that educational institutions are using research money on fictional scenarios derived from movies like Dawn of the Dead, 28 Days Later and my personal favorite Tokyo Zombie. Instead of doing research on some of the less important and realer issues like cancer, AIDS, or other types of debilitating illnesses.

Okay so you wasted money to conduct this study. What were your findings on this highly improbable situation?

They concluded there was no point trying to cure those infected or live with them – the best thing was to destroy them as quickly as possible.

You actually conducted research that concluded killing the zombies would be the best solution? Sounds honestly like they just sat around all day getting high and watching zombie movies. I’m not a researcher, but I’ve seen enough zombie movies to know that your best chance for survival in a zombie apocalypse is to kill as many zombies as humanly possible. I think just about everyone knows that.

What’s next University of Ottawa? Research on whether machines will rise up and revolt against its human makers, like in the Terminator series?

Article via Telegraph

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